she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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