i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sick fucks of a feather flock together
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
