My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
