Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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