Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize