We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize