He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
