Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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