I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
