I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
