That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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