u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this will be a night to untag.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
