Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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