Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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