Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
