If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
