just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize