I think im going to throw up on grandma
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Mom said you looked used
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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