mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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