Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
