Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
jump out the window naked night went bad
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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