Umm I'm too high to move.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I believe in your delicious
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
