I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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