I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
