he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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