So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
