First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
