Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we have pet lesbian snakes
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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