U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
