the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i will never coherently bang her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
