I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
