My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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