I wish my penis had an off switch
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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