Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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