Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
