i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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