After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
