Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
