Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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