were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
