508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
