i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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