mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
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I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know