Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course