Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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