Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
