He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
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An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."