I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
