You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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