then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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