i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
