Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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