That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
