im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
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I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
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Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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