i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
