I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
