do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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