just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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