Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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