Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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