Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
