He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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