I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
FUCK WHALES
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
