I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
