My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize