according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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